Here are some more pictures from the book of Creativity Affirmations I made for myself for when I wanted to read words of wisdom by people who've been on this road too. Being an artist is a true blessing, but I wouldn't say it's easy. Occasionally I wonder what it would be like to know that I was to go to work 8-5, 5 days a week, was to perform certain tasks, and, in exchange, I would receive a steady paycheck, benefits, and requests for work I was to do, weekends and evenings off, and two solid weeks a year when I didn't have to think one bit about work. On the one hand, it's a delightful thought! So many uncertainties taken care of! So many things I wouldn't need to figure out for myself!
On the other hand, it's a ghastly thought - be under someone else's direction? Constantly be told by someone else what I needed to do next? To give my time away for 8-9 hours/day? Have little to no outlet for my own desires/thoughts/creativity/decisions? I think I would bristle under such constraints.
I worked for a nascient computer corporation in Silicon Valley in the early 80's as a Personnel Clerk. It was fascinating because I learned so much - how to use a computer, how to do data bases, rules about hiring and firing, etc., etc. But... the way I'm built, I felt myself chomping at the bit. As soon as I figured out how to do something, I wanted to do more. I wanted to move on. I could see how things should be and, at the ripe old age of 23, figured I knew better. I would go home from work and complain to my husband about work and eventually, 11 months in, I quit so I could find something else.
I ultimately became a teacher and had the pleasure of working in Vienna, Austria, teaching elementary school kids how to speak German for two years. I served on the Teacher's Counsel there so I coud help determine policy and could negotiate for our salaries. I had watched Norma Rae and knew how to bargain. Well! All that got me was the Principal very kindly but firmly telling me, "Susan, your anger isn't going to get you where you want to go. It would be good to get it in check." Chastened, I retreated and learned that not everything needs to be a fight. I'm grateful to him for his kind words, said with compassion for a young firebrand.
I carry that attitude into everything I do - charging forward, ready to take on the world, wanting to do everything at once, determined, efficient, capable.
That doesn't work well in the work world, I don't think. It seems like one needs to comply and do what the bosses want and not complain. I say this without really knowing, though, and I'm sure it varies from company to company.
Instead of trying to fit myself into that mold, I went rogue and worked as a private tutor for the 25 years while I was raising my children. It was the perfect job for me since I could set my own hours; I worked for each person privately so had no boss; I collected my own income; I could take time off as needed; I could teach in ways I felt would most effectively help the students I was working with. It was a wonderful job!
...Until even that felt restrictive! I was working on Beyond Barbie, the art and performance series I created about women's body image and empowerment. I spent every waking hour painting, planning, talking to folks, coordinating, etc. - even when I was tutoring! I realized I needed to be doing Beyond Barbie/my art full time as I could no longer give students everything they deserved.
I asked my husband to sit with me and I told him I had to quit work - I had to be a full time artist. I simply didn't have a choice. From that day until now, I have been plying this creative trade.
Every day is different. Every day demands the best from me. Every day I set my own agenda. I teach a lot of art classes and private students, but I am doing art from morning til night. It's so different than working an office job:
There's no boss (except for me, and I'm a VERY demanding boss!)
No steady paycheck
No benefits (other than job satisfaction, joy, contentment, delight, excitement, etc.)
No retirement savings account
No paid vacations (though I certainly manage to vacate for long periods of time to Iceland!)
No one telling me what to do.
There's really no time off - I am thinking about and/or creating all the time.
Sometimes it's tricky not having someone to tell me what to do (not that I want that -), and I have to figure it out for myself. That's when these affirmations come in handy. They remind me that I'm not the only one who's been here. These great artists have had moments of wisdom and clarity. It helps to dip into their worlds for a moment and rest in their wisdom.
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| "A work of art is a scream of freedom." ~ Christo So true - every time I create something, I am putting myself out into the world, amsaying to the world, this is what I see, this is what I feel, this is who I am. There is tremendous freedom in that. |
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| "The spirit of creation is an excruciating intricate exploration from within the soul." ~ el Greco |
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| "A line is a dot that went for a walk." ~Paul Klee |
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| Creative people need time to just sit around and do nothing." ~ Austin Kleon This is probably the most difficult one for me to remember! It's very difficult for me to "just sit around". I tend to judge my worthiness as a person by how much I've gotten done in a day. The times I have taken time to relax, though, I am significantly refreshed and happier and more able to create. So intellectually I know it's true. I just can't always convince myself to do it! |
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| "Art is not just ornamental, an enhancement of life. It is a path in itself, a way out of the predictable and conventional... a map to self discovery." ~ Gabriella Roth |
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| "The painting leads the painter." ~ Ardath Davis |
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